Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself.
Author
David Sedaris
13 quotations
About David Sedaris
David Raymond Sedaris is an American humorist, comedian, author, and radio contributor. He was publicly recognized in 1992 when National Public Radio broadcast his essay "Santaland Diaries". He published his first collection of essays and short stories, Barrel Fever, in 1994. His next book, Naked (1997), became his first of a series of New York Times Bestsellers, and his 2000 collection Me Talk Pretty One Day won the Thurber Prize for American Humor.
Read on Wikipedia → Find books by David SedarisBut most good movies have a gun in them.
I go to the movies at least five times a week, and after a while everything becomes a blur to me.
I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's just whining, but every so often there'll be something I can use later: a joke, a description, a quote. It…
When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard.
The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons.
I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer.
What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.
Advertisement
I tend to show everything I do to my family, to check they won't be offended.
My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining.
I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.
It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time, then two years later you'll be like, 'There was a…
After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous…