Eddie Izzard

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

There was no religion in my life growing up. Did God invent us or did we invent God?

I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever.

Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both... different. In spelling.

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!

I just believe in the goodwill of people, the power of people to do something positive.

Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others.

I'm quite good at taking in information so I voraciously inhale Wikipedia - which may have some things wrong in it, but I think is generally more information than we had before. Last tour we didn't h…

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!

I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mix…

Never put a sock in a toaster.

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away that's the deal.

I'd be happy to be taken as a woman - and that's what I was initially trying to do when I started throwing on dresses and stuff. But that wasn't going to happen because everyone kept calling me sir. …