Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep.
Author
Dave Barry
47 quotations
About Dave Barry
David McAlister Barry is an American author and columnist who wrote a nationally syndicated humor column for the Miami Herald from 1983 to 2005. He has written numerous books of humor and parody, as well as comic novels and children's novels. Barry's honors include the Pulitzer Prize for Commentary (1988) and the Walter Cronkite Award for Excellence in Journalism (2005).
Read on Wikipedia → Find books by Dave BarryOnce again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just…
I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.
The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.
The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins.
It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
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Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.
To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.
The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.
Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions.
The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.
The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example.
I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.
Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.
The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.
Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.
We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.
Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money.
Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just…