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'I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.'

Jon Stewart

'The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest.'

William Blake

'Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.'

Henry Van Dyke

'Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.'

Erma Bombeck

'To give thanks in solitude is enough. Thanksgiving has wings and goes where it must go. Your prayer knows much more about it than you do.'

Victor Hugo

'There is one day that is ours. Thanksgiving Day is the one day that is purely American.'

O. Henry

'If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share.'

W. Clement Stone

'Dear Lord we beg but one boon more: Peace in the hearts of all men living, peace in the whole world this Thanksgiving.'

Joseph Auslander

'My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.'

Phyllis Diller

'Best of all is it to preserve everything in a pure, still heart, and let there be for every pulse a thanksgiving, and for every breath a song.'

Konrad von Gesner

'For what I have received may the Lord make me truly thankful. And more truly for what I have not received.'

Storm Jameson

'Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.'

Kevin James

'It is now common knowledge that the average American gains 7 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day.'

Marilu Henner

'Even though we're a week and a half away from Thanksgiving, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.'

Richard Roeper

'I'm thankful for every moment.'

Al Green

'If you think Independence Day is America's defining holiday, think again. Thanksgiving deserves that title, hands-down.'

Tony Snow

'If a fellow isn't thankful for what he's got, he isn't likely to be thankful for what he's going to get.'

Frank A. Clark

'An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.'

Irv Kupcinet

'Drink and be thankful to the host! What seems insignificant when you have it, is important when you need it.'

Franz Grillparzer

'Thanksgiving is a time when the world gets to see just how blessed and how workable the Christian system is. The emphasis is not on giving or buying, but on being thankful and expressing that appreciation to God and to one another.'

John Clayton

'Pride slays thanksgiving, but a humble mind is the soil out of which thanks naturally grow. A proud man is seldom a grateful man, for he never thinks he gets as much as he deserves.'

Henry Ward Beecher

'On Thanksgiving I will stop to give thanks that my family is safe and healthy, especially because I realize that, following the tragedies of this year, it is all too real a possibility that they might not have been.'

Bobby Jindal

'My restaurants are never opened on Thanksgiving I want my staff to spend time with their family if they can. My feeling is, if I can't figure out how to make money the rest of the year so that my workers can enjoy the holidays, then I don't deserve to be '

Michael Symon

'If you think about a Thanksgiving dinner, it's really like making a large chicken.'

Ina Garten

'I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable.'

Todd Barry

'A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.'

Kin Hubbard

'From too much love of living, From hope and fear set free, We thank with brief thanksgiving Whatever gods may be That no life lives for ever That dead men rise up never That even the weariest river Winds somewhere safe to sea.'

Algernon Charles Swinburne

'The truth is the Super Bowl long ago became more than just a football game. It's part of our culture like turkey at Thanksgiving and lights at Christmas, and like those holidays beyond their meaning, a factor in our economy.'

Bob Schieffer

'Christians were instructed to serve others, and the thanksgiving was for the grace of God and the fact that God offered a way for man to return to a positive relationship with Him.'

John Clayton

'It's like being at the kids' table at Thanksgiving - you can put your elbows on it, you don't have to talk politics... no matter how old I get, there's always a part of me that's sitting there.'

John Hughes

'Christmas is more stressful with present buying and making sure everyone gets included, but Thanksgiving is really not that. I don't ever really get stressed out about the food.'

Sandra Lee

'My whole problem is that all of my favorite things at Thanksgiving are the starches, and everyone is trying to go low-carb this year, even a green vegetable has carbs in it.'

Ted Allen

'Over the Thanksgiving holiday I took time to reflect on what is most important to me and realized I need to find a way to put the fun back into racing.'

Kurt Busch

'It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?'

David Letterman

'There is no racial or ethnic involvement in Thanksgiving, and people who may be very distant from the Christian system can see the beauty and the positive spirit that comes from the holiday.'

John Clayton

'Black Friday is not another bad hair day in Wall Street. It's the term used by American retailers to describe the day after the Thanksgiving Holiday, seen as the semi-official start of Christmas shopping season.'

Evan Davis

'Not to sound too much like Christopher Guest in 'Waiting for Guffman,' but on Thanksgiving you're putting on a show!'

Ted Allen

'As a kid, I was always mad - just noticing the women at Thanksgiving, running around the kitchen, while the men were watching football. For one, I don't want to cook, and for two, I hate football. I was stuck in the middle.'

Beth Ditto

'As much as I love crisp, clean whites, there's always a time for rich but balanced Chardonnays with oak, especially at Thanksgiving.'

Gary Vaynerchuk

'I love Halloween, trick or treating and decorating the house. And I love Thanksgiving, because of the football and the fall weather. And of course, I love Christmas - that's my favorite of all!'

Joe Nichols

'Christmas is the antithesis of Thanksgiving. Christmas is pretty much a man-made holiday.'

John Clayton

'Thanksgiving is a season that is very much in accord with the themes and teachings of Jesus Christ.'

John Clayton

'I absolutely adore Thanksgiving. It's the only holiday I insist on making myself.'

Ina Garten

'As governor, when I visited our troops in Kuwait and Iraq, I served them Thanksgiving dinner. It was a small gesture compared to their sacrifice.'

Jennifer M. Granholm

'My favorite meal is turkey and mashed potatoes. I love Thanksgiving, it's just my favorite. I can have Thanksgiving all year round.'

Cindy Margolis

'I don't think any other holiday embraces the food of the Midwest quite like Thanksgiving. There's roasted meat and mashed potatoes. But being here is also about heritage. Cleveland is really a giant melting pot - not only is my family a melting pot, but s'

Michael Symon

'I never drank except a couple sips of wine at Thanksgiving.'

Carol Alt

'The craft Emmys are kind of the kids' table at Thanksgiving. You're not really invited to the big dance. It's still really, really exciting, and the statue still counts.'

Hank Azaria

'My fondest memories are generally the day after Thanksgiving. I get the total decorating Christmas itch.'

Katharine McPhee

'I've spent a lot of Thanksgivings on the road with my band, so anytime that I can spend Thanksgiving with my family in a traditional aspect, eating sweet potatoes and cranberries and stuffing and all the trappings of Thanksgiving and then get on a treadmi'

Richie Sambora

'I am so excited this year getting to play the 85th Anniversary Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Everyone knows on Thanksgiving morning to get up, turn on the TV and watch the parade, so to be an actual participant is going to be fun and I'm looking forward'

Rodney Atkins

'Always expect the unexpected. Right around Thanksgiving, when the new Alex Cross will be out. It's called Four Blind Mice and it's a pretty amazing story about several murders inside the military.'

James Patterson

'Thanksgiving is nothing but a toast to genocide.'

Stephen Evans

'Something I didn't even know was on my bucket list has been achieved. I have cooked Thanksgiving dinner with Martha Stewart. I vow to follow the gospel of her teachings and do my very best in the remarkably less glamorous kitchen of my own home... without'

Jesse Tyler Ferguson

'I think I'm going to give my baby her first food on Thanksgiving, make her some organic sweet potato. I'm very excited! It's going to be a big day and my husband is in charge of the turkey - he's the chef of the family!'

Lily Aldridge

'The act is unjustifiable that either begs for a blessing, or, having succeeded gives no thanksgiving.'

Merle Shain

'In our family, mom and dad are Longhorns, our first two kids are Aggies and we're hoping our last one is a Longhorn. It gives us family fun on Thanksgiving Day.'

Bob Wells

'I have nothing against turkey. We eat turkey for Thanksgiving in my house.'

Marc Forgione




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