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QUOTES BY Robert Benchley

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'A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.'


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'I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.'


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'A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.'


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'You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.'


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'It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.'


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'I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.'


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'Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.'


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'Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.'


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'Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?'


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'I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.'


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'There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.'


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'Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.'


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'A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.'


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'In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.'

 

 

 

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