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QUOTES BY Josh Billings

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'I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.'


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'The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.'


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'The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.'


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'One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.'


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'The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout.'


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'One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can.'


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'There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't.'


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'There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.'


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'If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety.'


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'As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.'


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'The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.'


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'There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.'


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'There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.'


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'There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.'


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'Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.'


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'Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.'


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'There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.'


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'Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.'


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'It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash.'


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'Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.'


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'Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.'


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'If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.'


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'A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.'


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'There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.'


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'I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.'


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'About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.'


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'There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.'


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'Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.'


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'There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.'


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'Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.'


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'Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe.'


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'Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.'


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'Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.'


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'Love looks through a telescope envy, through a microscope.'


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'A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.'


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'Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.'


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'The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.'


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'Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.'


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'Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.'


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'I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money.'


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'It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.'


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'Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.'


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'A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.'


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'There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.'


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'Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.'


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'Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.'


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'The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.'


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'To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.'


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'There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.'


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'As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.'


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'Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.'


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'The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.'


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'Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe.'


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'Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.'


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'Men mourn for what they have lost women for what they ain't got.'

 

 

 

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