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QUOTES BY Doug Coupland

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'Everybody past a certain age, regardless of how they look on the outside, pretty much constantly dreams of being able to escape from their lives.'


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'The time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself.'


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'The capacity for not feeling lonely can carry a very real price, that of feeling nothing at all.'


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'Sometimes the best lighting of all is a power failure.'


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'Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.'


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'Most people have no idea how to politely answer a phone. The English do, and it's been their only major business advantage for the past two centuries.'


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'The real killers in the business world aren't the ones who aim for the top, it's the ones who aim for two notches below the top.'


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'Canadians can easily 'pass for American' as long as we don't accidentally use metric measurements or apologize when hit by a car.'


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'If God drives a car, He'd drive a 1973 Ford LTD Brougham sedan with a claret-colored vinyl roof, with oxblood leather upholstery and an opera window.'


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'If you don't change, then what's the point of anything happening to you?'


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'Human beings are the only animal that thinks they change who they are simply by moving to a different place. Birds migrate, but it's not quite the same thing.'


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'If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween.'


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'Workshops and seminars are basically financial speed dating for clueless people.'


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'We want our idols to be dead because it makes death a much less scary place.'


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'Flying dreams mean that you're doing the right thing with your life.'


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'Everybody past a certain age, regardless of how they look on the outside, pretty much constantly dreams of being able to escape from their lives.'


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'High school is such a shared experience in North American culture.'


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'Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them.'


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'Sometimes failure isn't an opportunity in disguise, it's just you.'


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'Failure is authentic, and because it's authentic, it's real and genuine, and because of that, it's a pure state of being.'


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'If a building looks better under construction than it does when finished, then it's a failure.'


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'Sometimes the best lighting of all is a power failure.'


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'People are pretty forgiving when it comes to other people's families. The only family that ever horrifies you is your own.'


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'It's very strange that most people don't care if their knowledge of their family history only goes back three generations.'


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'Everybody has basically the same family, it's just reconfigured slightly differently from one to the next.'


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'Forget about being world famous, it's hard enough just getting the automatic doors at the supermarket to acknowledge our existence.'


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'You pretend to be more eccentric than you actually are because you fear you are an interchangeable cog.'


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'I know it's not cat food, but what exactly is it that they put inside of tinned ravioli?'


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'There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off.'


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'In the future, torture will once again become the recreational sport of the rich.'


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'I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.''


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'When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture.'


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'It also allows you to look as though you're not particularly from the present, future or past, either.'


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'The future and eternity are two entirely different things.'


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'A bland smile is like a green light at an intersection, it feels good when you get one, but you forget it the moment you're past it.'


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'If you don't have a spiritual practice in place when times are good, you can't expect to suddenly develop one during a moment of crisis.'


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'Unhappiness is something we are never taught about we are taught to expect happiness, but never a Plan B to use to use when the happiness doesn't arrive.'


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'It's very strange that most people don't care if their knowledge of their family history only goes back three generations.'


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'We live in an era with no historical precedents. History is no longer useful as a tool in helping us understand current changes.'


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'If someone decides to be a musician now, it means because there is no hope of money at the end of it, it means they really want to be a musician. And if someone is writing now, there is no hope for money at the end of it.'


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'It's very strange that most people don't care if their knowledge of their family history only goes back three generations.'


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'Depression is when you have lots of love, but no one's taking.'


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'Men won't read any email from a woman that's over 200 words long.'


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'People will always choose more money over more sex.'


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'If someone decides to be a musician now, it means because there is no hope of money at the end of it, it means they really want to be a musician. And if someone is writing now, there is no hope for money at the end of it.'


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'I think money is due for some sort of collapse. People are going to realize that money has a half-life, like radioactive elements.'


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'Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them.'


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'Nature is one great big wood-chipper. Sooner or later, everything shoots out the other end in a spray of blood, bones and hair.'


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'If cats were double the size they are now, they'd probably be illegal.'


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'Forget sex or politics or religion, loneliness is the subject that clears out a room.'


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'Sometimes the best lighting of all is a power failure.'


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'Before machines the only form of entertainment people really had was relationships.'


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'The person who needs the other person the least in a relationship is the stronger member.'


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'Forget sex or politics or religion, loneliness is the subject that clears out a room.'


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'Christmas makes everything twice as sad.'


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'A bland smile is like a green light at an intersection, it feels good when you get one, but you forget it the moment you're past it.'


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'Technology favors horrible people.'


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'The time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself.'


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'There's much to be said for feeling numb. Time passes more quickly. You eat less, and because numbness encourages laziness, you do fewer things, good or bad, and the world's probably a better place for it.'


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'Christmas makes everything twice as sad.'

 

 

 

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